Ruining Convention
by Son of the morning
Summary: Because "fannon" is getting too damn repetitive. Also because, why the hell not?
1. Chapter 1

Ruining Convention

A/N:

Because "fannon" is getting repetitive and boring, and because I'm lazy, I'll just be using the NXD Naruto and Madara.

 **Airport Security**

He really was disappointed that he was caught by technology. Naruto would never let him live this down for as long as he lived. That alone was enough for him to want to attempt a suicide. Sometimes being an immortal sucked. Can you imagine the same company for several millennia?

Madara sighed again as he stared at the one way mirror on the side of the room he was "confined" to. Three hours. Three god damn hours in the room with nothing but stale snacks and lukewarm drinks. If they didn't try something, or release him, he would release himself.

Just as he was about to take matters into his own hands, the door opened and in walked a silver haired doctor-type and her much younger fighter friend with the sword. He stopped paying attention to little details, so sue him.

The doc and her stern face sat down right in front of him and attempted to out glare the Uchiha. That was almost worth the three hour wait. If there was ever ANYTHING left over from his first hundred or so years of life, it would be the (quite literally) patented Uchiha death glare.

"Let's skip the chit chat, and just have you tell me who you are." she started. Madara sighed as he reminisced the days when his name alone caused untold amounts of terror. Now it was some fictional twat who must not be named. Bullshit.

"Madara Uchiha." he replied. Doc lady banged her fist on the table. Judging by the immediate redness, Madara figured it would hurt her after whatever adrenaline wore off from her "interrogation".

"There is no record of that name, nor your DNA on file EVER. Why don't you just give up the name of the company that put you up to this or else…" she trailed off as her compatriot hinted at violence by unsheathing her sword a bit.

"Are you threatening me?" he asked, genuinely curious.

"What the hell do you think?" she responded, furious. "Karasuba." A mostly wordless order to turn up the threats. In a flash, Karasuba drew her sword and swung towards Madara. As the sword neared it flew out of her hands and landed in the wall behind Madara. Angrily she noted that he didn't even seemed phased. "Karasuba!" She ordered again. After a moment of non-compliance she turned around to find that there was a headless corpse standing up behind her. More specifically the headless corpse of Karasuba. She whirled around back to the man terrified at the implications.

"Can I go now? I'm late meeting a friend for some drinks."

A/N 2:

Boo yea.


	2. Chapter 2

Laying down some foundation.

P.S.

Mmm. Brandy.

* * *

"Really? He's late?" Grumbled a yellow haired, middle aged man. "I want to get drunk damnit." He sighed as he checked his cell phone for any messages. It surprised him into almost dropping the phone when it rang.

"Hey man, I'm was being held up by that MBI company for not being on record. I wanted to let you know, that in my defense, they threatened me, it was strictly self-defense." Naruto felt a migraine headed his way, and massaged the bridge of his nose to try to relieve it. It didn't help.

"Damnit Uchiha, what happened to under the goddamn radar? Do you know how much effort it's gonna take to sweep this shit under the rug? We used to be assassins man! I just got the go ahead to sleep in my own bed again instead of the damn couch!" Madara's sheepish chuckle made the sense of dread in Naruto's spine tingle once again.

"Ahh shit, what is it this time around? More super soldiers?"

"Probably? They feel human enough." Naruto tsked. "They are causing a racket though. It's hilarious how they can't find me." Scoff.

"Oh, now they can't find you, but earlier it was all like 'Here I am'!"

"I said I was sorry! I'll even explain the whole situation to your old lady, I promise."

"You damn well better, you son of a bitch. That couch is ruining my lumbar. I'm walking around with a damn clicking noise coming from my lower back. Try being stealthy with that shit. Guess what? I didn't even get **caught.** "

"This is one for the bin isn't it?"

"No you're list of screw ups has its own bookshelf now. How's mine?"

"Aside from the billboard, it's still small enough to fit in some studious kid's monster backpack."

"Kudos on not saying 'nerd'."

"I'm keeping it P.C."

"Word." The migraine lessened. "So, what's the game plan Uchiha? Quick and clean or just pretend it never happened?" Naruto could almost hear the gears turning in his friend's head. It sounded vaguely like the sinister chuckle of a sinister man.

"If I can find a way to keep you clean for most of it, and find a way to shift blame onto me where your old lady is concerned, will you help me pull a prank?" Naruto thought about it for a bit. He did love pranks.

"Collateral?"

"Little to none."

"I'm in."

"Wunderbar."


End file.
